The Paradox of Loving without Expectation: Between Existential Assurance and the Missed Encounter with the Other

Background: The phenomenon of love is an important task for the psychopathologist since love experience is the site in which the Self is formed and potentially dismantled. This paper explores "one-way love" - an autotelic form of love that persists independently of return. It may serve as a way for the person to sustain a sense of autonomy finding fulfilment in the act of loving itself - a paradoxical affirmation of identity, existence, and autonomy. Summary: The analysis unfolds three central functions of one-way love: (1) it frees the person from dependency on the Other's love; (2) it preserves the integrity of the lover's own desire protecting it from the confrontation with the Other's desire; (3) it offers the lover a heroic and noble self-image rooted in fidelity to feeling. One-way lovers may appear as dependent on a beloved who does not reciprocate, but they are firmly convinced that they are performing a radical act of freedom: loving not to be loved in return, but to assert their own existence as a person fully capable of loving. Key Message: One-way love is a strategy in which desire and fear intersect, sustaining the beloved at a distance and affirming the lover's capacity to love without dependence. Yet, this autonomy carries a cost: it prevents genuine intimacy with the Other. By avoiding the vulnerability required to share private aspects of the Self, one-way lovers evade the very encounter with otherness that is essential to the ongoing development and transformation of the Self.This paper explores the concept of: "one-way love," where an individual loves another without expecting reciprocation. The author argues that this type of love can be meaningful in three key ways: (1) it frees the lover from dependency on the Other's love; (2) it preserves the integrity of the lover's own desire, protecting it from the threat of confrontation with the Other's desire; (3) it offers a heroic sense of identity and a noble self-image rooted in fidelity to feeling. The one-way lover sees their love as a radical act of freedom, asserting their existence as a person capable of loving. However, the paper also notes that this kind of love can come at a cost, limiting the chance for genuine closeness with others, which is essential for personal development. The paper presents a nuanced view of one-way love, highlighting both its potential benefits (autonomy, self-awareness) and drawbacks (avoiding intimacy, potential for isolation).